Rex, Rocky, Vivi, and Billy                                                                            

Serial and Summer Camp

Serial and Summer Camp

The picture above has absolutely nothing to do with this post.  I think they're just so fucking cute in their Buzz and Woody jams (thanks Auntie Appa). So usually a couple days before Wednesday night, I sit down with a notebook, like the kind you used in high school, and I start writing about whatever the hell comes to mind that week.  Sometimes it’s about my daughter wishing she could pee standing up like her dad and sometimes it’s survival tips that have worked for at least oooh a day with us.  I actually enjoy the process, but I have to do it in bits and pieces because there’s not much down time around here and most of my nights are reserved for ice cream/chocolate/popcorn and falling asleep on the couch.  Or lately, Tom and I are falling asleep to the podcast "Serial".  Listen, I know we’re 100 years behind the rest of you, but here we are.  I can’t keep track of all Adnan and Jay’s phone calls and time stamps.  And I’m too tired to yell at Tom about the fact that he skips over entire episodes because neither of us can remember where we drifted off the night before.  I’m also  becoming eerily used to falling asleep to that lady host's not so super soothing voice.

There I go sidetracking per usual.  This week, I got a mess of things going on in my head.  So here I am on Wednesday night with so much shit to share, but not a lot of will power or stamina to do it.  But I’m trying anyway, 'cause this is us being real and #shit.  As some of you saw, we had Vivi’s birthday party last weekend.  It’s always a lot of work even though my goal is to keep it simple.  And low key.  For the most part...

  I usually end up feeling like I didn’t spend enough time with the birthday kid, and I wonder whether anyone reeeally had fun.  Hi, my name is Unsure Shirley, have we met?  Then Vivi had her first day of summer camp Monday morning.  It’s sort of a practice run for the Fall when she starts preschool. 

Is it not obvious I'm dying inside? It was like all my generalized anxiety filled first days of the school year combined into one.  Pass the Xanax.

Is it not obvious I'm dying inside? It was like all my generalized anxiety filled first days of the school year combined into one.  Pass the Xanax.

It’s only a couple of days a week, but holy shit, you would have thought I just dropped her off at OMGYoureLeavingTheNestAndI’mGoingToDie University's freshman dorms. 

Vivi was so brave walking into this new setting, and the teachers were all so welcoming and lovely.  When she kissed me goodbye and said she’d see me later, I speed walked to the front door, making it there just barely before I started crying myself a fucking river.  I’m not trying to be like “Ohhh my little baby is growing up and I’m teary and proud”.  I mean of course I’m proud, but I was crying so hard, I was fucking embarrassed.  Like Paparazzi hands over my face, please no one see me right now because this is ridiculous and I, like many of you, have been through way, WAY harder shit than this.  Tom answered my phone call like he had been waiting for this all morning.  “What if she’s scared?  What if she wants her mom?  What if she doesn’t know who to ask to go to the bathroom?” I blubbered.  I don’t ever use that word, but that’s the only way to describe these cry noises.  He assured me this was not the school’s first rodeo and that we were all going to survive.  I talked to Samm not long after, too, when I thought all the tears were out.  Nope.  Voice cracking as I recalled the sequence of events.  Get a fucking grip you maniac!!

Vivi basically had the best day ever ("I had SO much fun, but I didn't talk a lot" K...), and mine ended with (spoiler alert) me weeping that “she’ll never turn 3 years old again”.  Luckily I was surrounded by a lot of understanding friends and family that didn’t make me feel totally ridiculous.  So anyway, tomorrow Vivi goes to her second day of “camp” and it also happens to be my 4th wedding anniversary.  Oh and Tom’s birthday is Saturday.  We certainly timed the month of July like fucking assholes, didn’t we?  Good for us.  It’s almost 10pm and I’m tired and I want to hear more about whether there was really a fucking payphone outside of Best Buy or not.  Ughh, just Google "Serial" if you don't know WTF I'm talking about, which would be shocking.  Hashtag keepingitreal with this short post.  Oh you didn't want the novella today anyway.  Wish me luck as I mentally limp through the rest of this week. I'll do the same for you.  Oh and if anyone has any ideas about what you're supposed to do with your eyes while listening to a Podcast, I'd gladly receive them.  

Coloring

Coloring

But, why?

But, why?