Rex, Rocky, Vivi, and Billy                                                                            

Go Do Poops

Go Do Poops

Hey Hey, it’s me again not sticking to our unwritten blog post schedule!  Thank God one of us is punctual.  Samm is really keeping this blog raft afloat lately.  It’s thirsty Thursday and I spent it cleaning up this toy warehouse I live in because we’re off to another wedding!  My mother-in-law is so graciously spending the weekend here with the kids, and even though she is the best ever and really doesn’t have any crazy mother-in-law quirks about tidiness (and also she literally just called to tell me to stop cleaning) I still feel the need to make this place presentable and comfortable with all food/clothes/diapers easily accessible.

A year and a half ago, Vivi would have been sad to see me off.  Like screaming and sobbing and watching from the door with her hand on the glass as I pull away in the car.  That was always a great start to wherever I was going.  Total party starter.  Nothing makes you want to whoop it up more than seeing your child absolutely devastated.  Billy has seamlessly slipped into that role now and Vivi is kinda like: {KISS} Bye, I love you!  Don’t let the door hit ya on the ass!!  Billy’s look is more like: Oh God nooo, no no no don’t you do it, lady!  Don’t you fucking leeeeave meeee.

I’m not even sure when Vivi made this transition.  I guess I should be all grateful she is comfortable with people now and she likes to socialize and have fun with her family.  And I am.  But I have to tell you, it also feels, I don’t wanna say bad, but maybe ah, like slight rejection, when I’ve been out for a bit and I come home only to have Vivi greet me with, “NoooooOOOOooo, Mama!  You can’t come home!”  Oh, Wow, cool!  This feels awesome.  Sorry I’m ruining your good time with my mom presence.  I’ve only devoted my entire existence to you and given up infinity hours of sleep and now you don’t want me in your house?!  Thaaaaanks.

It’s not just when I leave and come back though.  I’m cramping her style when people come over to visit.  Let’s say GG (my mother-in-law) or my aunts stop in for a visit.  Vivi immediately turns to me after hugging them and asks me to “go to worky”.  If I decline, she asks me to go to a wedding because apparently that’s the second most frequent thing I do.  Nope, no weddings today.  Okay, so she tries “go do the laundry”.  Well played; I absolutely should be doing laundry.  Then she throws in a “go look at your phone”, which instantly makes me feel like the worst fucking mother ever because well, she associates my phone with me being busy and distracted for awhile.  Samm stopped by today and Vivi threw another one into rotation.  “Hey Burnie, will you play with me?”  Samm sat down next to her and Vivi called out, “Hey Mama!  Go poop!”  Oh okay, nice.  I mean, of course Samm loved that shit.  Punny.  But is that gonna go over well and not embarrass me at all when I have some new preschool classmate and her mother over for a playdate someday?!  “Vivi, I don’t have to go.”  “Yes, you do!  You have a tummy ache!  Go do poops!”  Gross, yes.  Is she a genius?  I think maybe.  If nothing else, she’ll be a great brainstormer in small group activities.

Last week when my cousin was visiting, Vivi asked her to go play in her room.  New tactic.

Vivi playing with Auntie Appa in the princess castle Auntie Meri built.  Why would Vivi want to play with me?!

Vivi playing with Auntie Appa in the princess castle Auntie Meri built.  Why would Vivi want to play with me?!

 I was putting Billy in for a nap, and when I was done, I opened Vivi’s door to find the two of them looking at stickers. “Whatta ya guys doing?” “Mama go!”  “What?  I wanna hang with you guys!”  “No, you can’t.”  “Vivi, that makes Mama sad.”  Okay, she says.  “Hey, Mama,” she gets to her feet with a sweet smile.  “Come here; come on.”  She takes me by the hand.  “Come, come”, she gently and reassuringly requests as she leads me……out the fucking door!!  She then leaves me in the hallway and affectionately closes the door in my face as my cousin mouths the words “sorry” while hysterically laughing on the floor of Vivi’s room.

So what am I trying to say with this post?  I don’t know.  I’m happy that Vivi feels secure enough to venture outside my mom perimeter, really I am.  It’s great. 

It’s like she’s found something better and more interesting she’d rather try out for awhile.  It’s not me; it’s her.  She just doesn’t want to be tied down right now.  Dating flashbacks?! Nooooo ha.  But, yeah.  No.  Just kidding.  Kinda.  Shut up.  But seriously, Billy better not pull this shit with me or I’ll really lose it. 

I’ll just keep whispering this crazy mom of boys mantra into his ear that a friend recently taught me, so he’ll never leave… "No one will ever love you more than meeee.”  Shout out, DCP.  Muahaha.

My Toddler Will Never Have an Ipad

My Toddler Will Never Have an Ipad

A Quick Trip

A Quick Trip